Marriage Means Lifelong Consent

Sex in Marriage Myths | Unmysh 2020

The coronavirus pandemic has forced India to go into a 21-day lockdown. So, people are finding ways to kill boredom. We are guessing sex in marriage must have taken a huge spike for couples who are sexually active. It’s good news for the marriages that were going through a dry phase. Let me rephrase, it’s good news for those couples who have consensual sex.

Here’s a glimpse at how sex in marriage should look:

Sex in India is a really complex issue. We’ve been raised not to even address the problem let alone talk about it. In fact, many parents even frown upon the idea of letting their children talk to a person of the opposite gender. This dysfunctionality stacks up to a bigger issue. Men, who have never interacted with women casually, are married off.

As Indians, it’s not surprising to know that 90% of the marriages in India are arranged marriages. That’s the root cause of the problems that revolve around sex in marriage.

Consent for sex is unheard of in a society where women are treated as objects. Women are so cut off from the world that they don’t even know something wrong is happening to them. What’s alarming is the fact that marital rape is not a crime in India. According to Section 375 of the Indian Penal Code, forced sex in marriage is a crime only when the wife is below the age of 15. Last time I checked, we were living in 2020. 

What further drives home the problems with sex in marriage is that 1 in 3 men don’t believe in consent for sex. In other words, they rape their wives. To make matters worse, a staggering stat from 2016  uncovered that the divorce rate in India is just 1.1%. This shows that many women are living a hellish life in India. And that’s beyond our statistical comprehension. 

Couples need to realise that the ‘feras’ or your ‘wedding vows’ doesn’t mean a lifelong consent in marriage. Irrespective of gender, your partner is not liable to satisfy your sexual wants whenever you feel like. Women need to understand that men are not always ready to engage in sexual congress. Consent goes both ways. The only time sex should occur is when the individuals involved are willing.  

It’s high time we educate our men and even our women on why consent in marriage is important. You don’t own a person you marry. Women should also be taught not to give in to the whims of a man. You don’t owe sex to anyone. Not even your husband. Respect your partner’s needs and understand that they are human, just like you. It doesn’t take much to just ask. Be a man and ask for consent. Every time.

Like this segment? We bust a common myth every Tuesday. Don’t forget to come back next week for a new one. Meanwhile, check out the other subjects that made Unmysh’s list of myth busters here.  

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