Haseena Maan Jaayegi’s Album is All Kinds of Wrong

Haseena Maan Jaayegi's Entire Soundtrack Govinda Sanjay Dutt Karisma Kapoor | Unmysh 2020

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t grow up watching Govinda films. The trio of Govinda-David Dhawan-Karisma Kapoor produced hits like Haseena Maan Jaayegi, Coolie No. 1 and Raja Babu. In hindsight, it seems like a bad idea to watch these movies as a kid. Indian family-friendly movies have always been questionable to me.

In fact, a common theme I found in these movies, and in their songs, was the presence of unbridled sexism. This is especially true in the case of Haseena Maan Jaayegi’s songs. 

Questionable songs of Haseena Maan Jaayegi

To feed my nostalgia, I decided to watch Haseena Maan Jaayegi on a boring Sunday afternoon. While the movie is not perfect in any sense of the word, the song, ‘I Love You Bol Daal’ caught my attention. Damn, even the title is wrong of this song.

I wondered who or why someone would greenlight such a song? Then I heard the other songs and it was clear to me – the entire album aged like milk.

The music director is Anu Malik, so it makes sense, but the music is not an issue here. The lyrics are the culprit. Can you believe Sameer is credited as one of the lyricists on Haseena Maan Jaayegi’s album? Yep, the same world record holder, Sameer. Well, colour me not impressed. 

Let me show you a few lines from some of the problematic songs and you decide whether this is wrong, or just wrong: 

Cheenti Pahad Chadhe 

Cheenti Pahad Chadhe Marne Ke Waaste

Ladki Kare Fashion Ladkon Ke Waaste

This Shankar Mahadevan, Hema Sardesai and Ehsaan sung song implies that girls dress up for boys. This notion is so ingrained in the consciousness of the masses, they do believe women dress up or “look good” just to impress men.

Well, if people dressed up and “looked good” for other people, so many unkempt and ‘I-only-wear-flip-flops’ wearing men would never find love. 

But you know what grinds my gears more than the erroneous, sexist assumption? The lyricist rhymed waaste with waaste, throughout the song. If you want to offend a gender, at least put a little more effort than the bare minimum.

Haseena Maan Jaayegi

Kab Tak Ruthegi, Chikegi, Chillayegi?

Dil Kehta Hain Ik Din Haseena Maan Jaayegi

Sameer, why did you do this? I used to like you, man!

Amitabh Bachchan’s character in 2016’s Pink, famously said, “No means no.” However, back in 1999, according to Govinda, “No meant an eventual yes.”

People, if you are courting someone and the person is getting “mad, shouting and screaming,” stop. Your smug Bollywood-loving ass might just end up in jail.   

Panga Na Le Mere Naal

Main Toh Thehra Jat Punjabi, Wapas Na Jaunga

Pakad Ke Teri Choti, Tujhko Apne Ghar Launga

Sameer takes the ‘no consent’ theme to another level in Panga Na Le Mere Naal. When a girl says no, just pull her braid and drag her home like a hunted game. Simple, right?

Also, what’s being a Jat Punjabi got to do with being a complete asshole? Mentioning your caste does not give you a pass to commit any crimes. Or at least, I hope so.

Dulha Bhi Lajawab Hai

Dono Ka Milan Hoga Lagta Hain Aaj Jamke

Dulhan Chunar Ke Peeche Sharmake Chupti Jaye 

Dulhe Ki Nazar Se Wo Lagta Hain Bachti Jaye

They even managed to drag Kavita Krishnamurthy in this messy album.

Bollywood has time and again reinforced the idea that men are always horny and women are shy. God forbid if the woman shows an iota of interest in sex, she’ll be slut-shammed to hell. No wonder marital rape is still not considered a crime in this country.

I Love You Bol Daal

Aye, Kaiko Mach-Mach Kar Re Li Hain

Maa Kasam Apni Bhi Thodi Si Hatt Re Li Hain

There was a time when Edgar Allan Poe wrote, “The angels, not half so happy in Heaven, went envying her and me.”

In the 20th century, Nitin Raikwar writes, “Nahi toh pachtayegi, kawaari reh jaayegi. Baat zara isko apne bheje mein daal.”

Haseena Maan Jaayegi

I consider I Love You Bol Daal to be the best “worst” song of Haseena Maan Jaayegi. Just google the lyrics and you’ll find that not one word of this horrendous song is redeemable.

It breaks my heart to visit my childhood and look at these songs in a different, horrible light. We were so busy enjoying Govinda’s dance moves, we never paid attention to the lyrics even once. Well, fool me once, strike one.

Haseena Maan Jaayegi

Like this segment about Haseena Maan Jaayegi? We announce a new aged like milk case every Wednesday. Don’t forget to come back next week. Meanwhile, check out some other examples of aged like milk here.

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